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Oklahoma Women Become Brave for Marriage Equality - A Q&A with Sharon Bishop-Baldwin, author of Becoming Brave
![]() March 2017 | Sharon Bishop-Baldwin
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![]() ![]() I like to think also that the “Finding Our Voice” part indicates that we’re not stopping here. Now that we’ve become brave and found our voice, there’s much work to be done.
![]() What was your inspiration for writing this book? This is my first book, and until mid-2013 or so, I never would have imagined that I would write a book. But we felt like we had a story to tell, and as career newspaper editors, Mary and I had seen a lot of good stories told poorly. We knew we could tell our story better than anyone, not only because of the mechanics of writing but because we lived it. And indeed, a large part of the story is about living for nearly 10 years with something as ominous-sounding as a federal civil rights lawsuit while still keeping up with the mundane life of cleaning the cats’ litter box and staying on top of the laundry.
Her home life was actually quite sheltered and conservative, and although mine was decidedly more liberal, the messages I received about doing what’s right and standing up for myself were still very person-focused. No one ever suggested I protest war or march for women’s rights. In fact, although we both had moments of speaking out on a variety of topics throughout our younger lives, I think it’s safe to say that the lawsuit made us activists, as opposed to us having filed the lawsuit because we were activists. So “Becoming Brave,” and the subtitle, “Winning Marriage Equality in Oklahoma and Finding Our Voice,” is about our greater awakening on a multitude of issues, not just same-sex marriage, and not even just LGBTQ issues, but social justice issues, issues of equality and compassion. I like to think also that the “Finding Our Voice” part indicates that we’re not stopping here. Now that we’ve become brave and found our voice, there’s much work to be done. What was it like as older lesbians to be thrust into the limelight as LGBT advocates in Oklahoma? Another aspect of being older at this time of being in the spotlight is that I think a lot of middle-age and older straight Oklahomans found us acceptable and, fair or not, they might have resisted younger people. Again, right or wrong, much of society judges people on appearances. Although Mary and I never tried to “pass,” I think a lot of people looked at us and saw their friends, their neighbors, people they went to church with. That certainly had no bearing on the court victories, but I think we won some hearts and minds that way. Have there been challenges you have experienced as such a public figure during the marriage equality movement? Sometimes we held our tongues because, as representatives of the LGBTQ community, diplomacy mattered. Sometimes we went to events we didn’t care strongly about because we knew we were there as representatives of a larger group. Even when we went joyfully – such as when we were invited to Vice President Joe Biden’s holiday party two months after we were married – we knew that we had a message to deliver on behalf of people beyond ourselves. I’m not a big fan of sports analogies, but it’s like being the ball carrier in a football game: Don’t think about personal glory; think about winning the game for the team.
What words of wisdom do you have for older adults wanting to engage in LGBT advocacy?
Stay updated on the book by liking its Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BecomingBraveOklahoma/ . To contact Sharon directly about her work email: shmaryon@gmail.com
© 2011-2021 Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint these articles, or post them online, please e-mail us. |
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